Home

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Grey ~ Oneshot

  • Jun. 14th, 2009 at 1:55 PM
I Wish
Pairing: none
Genre: Canon
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Annie Proulx. I'm not earning any money from this and write just for fun.
Feedback: I´d appreciate it.
Authors’ Notes: Thanks a lot to Patricia, [info]hellspark72 for the professional beta-work. *hugs*!



Grey


His life has been grey.

Grey, like his clothes.
Grey, like his house.
Grey, like his cigarette’s smoke.
Grey, like the winter- in which his Jack arrived.

Blue like the sky, his eyes.
White like the snow, his skin.
Black like raven’s plumage, his hair.
Yellow like the sun, his shining heart.

One summer he spoke of green meadows.
Turquoise lakes.
Hazelnut horses.
Violet mountain tops.
Colorful days on a mountain, Brokeback Mountain.

Colors, which - thanks to Jack - brought light in his dark life, even though he would never see them.

So, in the end… in the end, again, there was just grey.
Grey, like his wife’s face.
Grey, like his son’s ashes.
Grey like everything that was left and all he ever had.


Tags:

Comments

( 40 comments — woof-woof )
[info]carmenmariabs wrote:
Jun. 14th, 2009 12:17 pm (UTC)
Jackie ... paradise of colors.
The rest ... just gray.
Carmen
Thanks forever!
Happy Sunday
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Carmen.
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]jen_wcugirl wrote:
Jun. 14th, 2009 12:22 pm (UTC)
Oh I had to read that twice. The first time I thought we were talking from Ennis' POV. Had to go back and recheck that. This is an interesting look into Old Man Twist...and one of those rarely seen stories where he almost seems like a human! His life may have been more sad than we realized, and that could have contributed (not justified) to the way he treated Jack.

A lovely little one shot. :)

Hugs! Jen
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:17 pm (UTC)
John Twist always is the bad man... I have to admit that I don't trust him, because he has been so mean to Jack. But even he has a heart and I am sure that he was very sad, when his only son died.

Thanks, Jen!
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]cynical21 wrote:
Jun. 14th, 2009 02:27 pm (UTC)
Lovely and so very, very sad. A truly unique take from an unexpected perspective.

Very nicely done.

CYN
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:18 pm (UTC)
I appreciate you comment. Thank you!

Steffi
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]denim_girl2006 wrote:
Jun. 14th, 2009 05:10 pm (UTC)
Wow, another very original and unique piece!!! At first I thought it was Ennis' POV but when I read this line: "Grey, like the winter- in which his Jack arrived." I started to think not. Then I realized, especially in this line: "Grey, like his son’s ashes." How interesting and very well done! ♥
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, friend. I am really glad that you liked it and was surprised by the POV!
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]freetraveller15 wrote:
Jun. 14th, 2009 05:45 pm (UTC)
thank you. that was beautiful, an unexpected POV, lyrical & poignant. hugs, P
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading, Paola :) Hope you are fine. Did you get my sms concering London? We'll be there vom August 14-16. Love, Steffi
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]freetraveller15 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 02:24 pm (UTC)
Hi Steffi, yes, I did receive it, I also replied. You didn't receive my reply?
I still don't know if I'm going to be in London or in Italy that weekend. I have to check a few things before booking my flights, but as soon as I know, I'll let you know :)
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]bowl_of_glow wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
Paola, I'm still not sure if I'm gonna be there, but if I am I wanna meet you!!
*hugs you tight*
B
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]bowl_of_glow wrote:
Jun. 14th, 2009 06:08 pm (UTC)
Yeah, he lightened up the lives of the people he touched, our bright Jack.

Yellow like the sun, his shining heart.

...Grey, like his son’s ashes.

So sad. :(

OMT POV, yeah, that was unexpected. And even though he's portraited like a monster most of the time, the man must have had a heart somewhere.
And you know, in that last scene when Ennis meets Jhon Twist... I like the moment when he says, "Ennis Del Mar, he used to say..." referred to Jack, and in that moment he has that kind of... faraway look into his eyes, you know, like he is thinking about Jack. And I think that the thing that bothered him the most wasn't Jack being in love with a man but maybe his nature of dreamer and hopeless hopeful.
And he must have felt pain for the loss of his son on some level.

Also, when he says that line... I have to think about Jack, my poor Jack, hoping to be with Ennis, and the way that name must have sound on his lips... Ennis Del Mar... and he probably had that faraway look on his face, too, just maybe smiling a little, since that name was what made his life less dull, and what he lived for. *sighs*
Sorry, I'm ranting.
But it's just... so sad.

You okay Steffi? You've been kinda quiet, did you get my mail?
Hope you're all right. *hugs you tight*
All my love,
B.

| Reply | Thread
[info]tizi17 wrote:
Jun. 15th, 2009 06:51 am (UTC)
i love your comment, your thoughts about this scene..
as i love steffi's oneshot...
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]bowl_of_glow wrote:
Jun. 15th, 2009 08:23 am (UTC)
Thanks dear. ♥ See ya around! ;)
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:20 pm (UTC)
Thanks a lot, B. Awesome comment..... and every word so true.

Love and peace to you,
Steffi
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]r_o_l_i_e wrote:
Jun. 14th, 2009 06:40 pm (UTC)
Beautifully done, Steffi
Kiss!!
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:21 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Caroline :)
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]ifyoucantfixit2 wrote:
Jun. 14th, 2009 07:04 pm (UTC)
Very soulful. From an unexpected source. ;(
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:21 pm (UTC)
I thank you for reading, Janice!
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]lovewithstands wrote:
Jun. 14th, 2009 07:25 pm (UTC)
I also thought this was in Ennis's pov But the son's ashes Made me relize it was Mr. Twist


Very different from what i've read

Awesome job :) As usual
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:22 pm (UTC)
Thanks a lot :)
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]mariska_to wrote:
Jun. 14th, 2009 07:27 pm (UTC)
Yes, I also thought at first this was about Ennis! (You sly thing, you!) What a great take, a life through colours. Beautifully done, and heard rending. Thank you!
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:23 pm (UTC)
Thanks a lot :)
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]chamilet wrote:
Jun. 14th, 2009 07:39 pm (UTC)
Wow. That just hit me in the heart for some reason and I started crying. Good stuff!!!
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:23 pm (UTC)
I'm really glad that you liked it. Thanks!
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]apreg wrote:
Jun. 14th, 2009 09:19 pm (UTC)
(((Steffi)))

That was so beautiful thank you so much friend. Love ya Ashley.
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:23 pm (UTC)
(((Ashley))))

Thank you!
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]enoughtohurt wrote:
Jun. 14th, 2009 10:39 pm (UTC)
One summer he spoke of green meadows.
Turquoise lakes.
Hazelnut horses.
Violet mountain tops.
Colorful days on a mountain, Brokeback Mountain.
**
So, in the end… in the end, again, there was just grey


Absolutely beautiful and heartbreaking.

Thank you so much, friend.
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:23 pm (UTC)
Thanks, friend.
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]ciararose323 wrote:
Jun. 15th, 2009 12:50 am (UTC)
This is so beautiful. Truly well written.
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:24 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading and letting me know :)
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]jackien1968 wrote:
Jun. 15th, 2009 10:08 am (UTC)
Very nicely done.

The POV was a surprise.

Jackie
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:24 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked it, Jackie. Hope you're fine!
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]ennis4me wrote:
Jun. 15th, 2009 01:17 pm (UTC)
Sad.....
Old Man Twist really had a sad life - but it was his own making too.

Great introspective into this man - thanks! Adrianne
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:25 pm (UTC)
Re: Sad.....
Thanks a lot, Adrianne :)
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]selina31 wrote:
Jun. 15th, 2009 01:46 pm (UTC)
Wow, powerful writing and an unexpected pov.
Selina
| Reply | Thread
[info]cornflake2912 wrote:
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Selina!!
| Reply | Parent | Thread
[info]gothica_vanessa wrote:
Jun. 18th, 2009 11:08 am (UTC)
very touching, in a sad way
thanks
vanessa
| Reply | Thread
[info]caleyca wrote:
Jul. 5th, 2009 02:48 am (UTC)
Hi... I've changed my account and I hope I can be friended with my new user name. I used to be andieley
Thank your very much
Andrea
| Reply | Thread
( 40 comments — woof-woof )